Some of the things I love Pt. 2 (I love these things more)

This clickity clackity keyboard
Shiny things
Smooth things
Soft things
Touching hair
Fashionable leopard print snuggies
Being warm
Being freezing cold
Slippers
Caffeine
Feeling the burn
Winter
Running 5ks
Walking my dog
Napa Valley
Buttery Chardonay
Dreams where I am fluent in Polish
White boards
Orbital Configuration
JOE. SERIOUSLY. SO MUCH.
Pick up trucks
Wrestling tournaments
Fruit snacks
Bad dancing
Acting like I'm black
Pop, not soda
Tree lawns
Cleaning my room
Laundry
The smell of laundry
Warm blankets
Not being a pot head
Chatboxes
Iceland
Being asked if I'm from Russia
Quiet times
Loud times
Long car rides
Frankenberry
Jack Seely
Jack Seely's voice
Movies that make me cry like a baby
Ghost in the graveyard
Swimming
Hot tubs in the middle of winte
rBeing a single lady
Not being a single lady
Loganberry
Mexican food
Spending the summer at my cousins' house
Not being attacked by bears
Presents
Christmas Eve
My grandma
Old people
Grandparents in general
Seeing how many people can fit into a bed
Sleeping like a corpse
Movie nights
Saying "fricken fucking"
Gary Granger
Downtown Cleveland
Walking down Prospec
tHalloween
Apple Cider
Scary stories
Cheesy movies
My neighborhood
Huge summer kickball games
Stretching
Hibernating
James Dean
My hair this morning
SERIOUSLY THOUGH JOE.
Freestyling
My Poppy's garden
Conneaut Lake Park
Roller coasters
Fried food
Being scared
Power outages
My favorite cousin
Brand new kicks
Being fresh and clean
Indians games
Sabres games
Jeopardy
Scrabble
Getting down
Bunk beds
My tire swing
Bonfires
Camping
The cabin
Exploring
This one park
The Valley
Southern hospitality
Organic farms
Non-vegan food
Cookies
Bustin' moves
My belly button piercing ;)
Sucking dick for drink tickets
Dean Moriarty
Csillacsillacsillacsilla
Piggy back rides
Ja
Ze gut!

Some of the things I love Pt. 1

Loose-leaf notebook paper
Notebooks filled with rap music
Wall collages
Taking pictures of strangers
Foreign exchange kids
Learning dirty German words
Haunted houses
Talking to boys
Telephones
Spelling tests
Sleeping with sunglasses
Smell of crayons
Oxfords
Commas
Oxford Commas
Glasses
Sweaters
Leggings
Shoes that are warm
Shoes that are cute
Shoes that make me feel tall
Blankets
Snuggling
Pillows
Snow
Cold
The taste of snowflakes
Christmas
Early sunsets
Christmas lights
Cousins
Hockey
Buffalo
College visits
Baking cookies
Eating food
Drinking hot things
Drinking cold things
Eskimo kisses
Manners
Boys that don't think with their penis
Hugging everyone
When people like to hug back
Sleep talking
Sleep walking
Comfy beds
Scratching backs
People playing with my hair
People touching my face
Warming up cold hands
Turtle fur
Skiing
Ellicottville House
Hot chocolate
Fires
My puppy
Holding hands
S'mores
Leaves right before they fall
Smell of autumn
Sideburns
Muttonchops
Long walks
Running in the morning
Waking up early
Sleeping
Laughing
Good impressions
Not being tickled
Backpacks
Shampoo
Hairbrushes
Pale skin
Banana Bread
Carving pumpkins
Crisp apples
My Best Friend
Red Wine
Smooth piano keys
Tap dancing
Little kids
Babies
Being a kid
Laughing so hard you cry
Crying so hard you laugh
Texts at ridiculous hours
Secret confessions
Suprises
Notes
Messages
Doodling
Long math problems
Books
Used book stores
Nicknames
Girl nights
Fur coats
Margot Tenenbaum
Fall
Love

ALL SENIOR CITIZENS SHOULD HAVE LIFE ALERT

The Beginning of a Wonderful Friendship

This boy can sing and he can blog. I love him. This blog will change your life.

Gary Granger and the Generous Goons
Thoughts from the mind of Gary W. Granger. They are incredibly funny and great and make me happy to read them.

Experimental Homefry Trials
Last, but most definitely not least. Possibly the greatest blog ever created. This blog will make you hungry, but it is like porn for hungry people. Also, Joe is amazing.

<3 / 10

don't stick your head in the oven<3

88mph: Some Serious Shirt

Summer vacation. Two weeks in Florida. Beaches. Fudruckers. Swimming. Sun burn. Sun screen. Sun. Sun. Sun. No school. Friends. Family. Mexican food. Pina Coladas. Souvenirs. Shells. Sand. Sandals. Love.

A seemingly perfect day on the beach. Dipping your toes in the cool ocean. Hoping to cross another item off your bucket list you rent a surf board and head into the water in an attempt to teach yourself. You spend hours getting up and falling, slightly increasing your skill until you are finally able to stand up. Feeling confident, you venture out into the deep water. So deep your feet no longer touch the coarse sand at the bottom of the sea. You swim farther, farther, farther, CRUNCH. Jaws, but a bear. Your surfboard suddenly looks like a cookie with a bite taken out of it. You close your eyes and try to keep still. You think that if you are still enough the giant bear will leave you alone. As you slowly open your eyes, an old doll floats by. Betty Spaghetti. You smile to yourself and your head is filled with happy childhood memories. The bear spots Betty too. He doesn't smile though. He eats her. You have never been so angered. You are rushed with adreniline. You freak out and kill the bear with your bear(sic) hands. Betty Spaghetti saves the day.

88mph: Some Serious Shirt by Velma Spaghetti is like a Betty Spaghetti doll. It has the ability to make you happy whenever you listen to it. And it also has the magical abilites to save the day.

http://cllct.com/release/88mphsomeseriousshirt0

88/10

YOU WIN GOOD DAY SIR ;)

Trauma Queen EP

My grandparents used to own a little plot of land deep in the middle of the woods. Every fall during Thanksgiving break we would pack up our car and drive hours and hours until we got to their house. The house looked tiny compared to the huge trees and vastness of the forest around it, but had it been in any place else, it would have been huge. It sat empty, filled with ghosts and cobwebs, for 360 days of the year. But every Thanksgiving, on schedule it would fill will people and smells and sounds and the ghosts would take a 5 day vacation. One year, we all bundled up in our hats and boots and scarves and gloves, to go for a drive. We all crammed into the cab of my grandpa's old truck and started it up. The headlights shone on the freshly fallen snow, our eyes went from tree to tree searching for any sign of life. After driving for what seemed an eternity, we saw movement. "A BEAR A BEAR STOP THE CAR THERE IS A BEAR A BEAR A BEAR PULL OVER THERE IS A BEAR" We pulled over and we all jumped out of the car. We started walking towards the bear we had spotted. "A BEAR GUYS LOOK IT'S A BEAR THERE IS A BEAR IT IS A REAL LIFE BEAR" We continued walking towards the bear. "BEAR BEAR BEAR IT'S A REAL" - BZZZZZZZAGYSYASHFAJK We walked right into the electric fence that marked the end of my grandparent's property. I have never been in so much pain in my life, but I have never felt so alive.

Until now. The electric fence has finally met it's match. Trauma Queen brutally murders you in the most painful way possible, then acts as you heroic savoir and brings you back to life. Zakk Zielke is an exceptional person. Thank you for giving me life.

BZZZZZZZZZAGYSYASHFAJK/10

Oh and for the record, it was actually just a deer.

is there like metal stuff in your head?

Bearsandmusic would like to announce two new reviews coming tomorrow! This is a very big event and we felt there should be some warning for our faithful readers, so no one dies of a panic attack.

Stay Classy.

Fan Mail

Lately Bears and Music has been getting a ridiculous amount of fan mail from practical people who do not want to get mauled by bears, music lovers, people fond of quality reviews, and elderly women. One email we received has stood out however. It went as followed:

"From:
Gmail Team

To:
bearsandmusic

Date:
Sep 2

Subj:
Customize Gmail with colors and themes

To spice up your inbox with colors and themes, check out the Themes tab under Settings. Click here to customize Gmail » Enjoy! - The Gmail Team Please note that Themes are not available if you're using Internet Explorer 6.0. To take advantage of the latest Gmail features, please upgrade to a fully supported browser."

Wow. Just wow. Can you believe it? Even Gmail is a fan of bearsandmusic! My heart was so touched I wrote a haiku about it.

Bear attacks it hates
Gmail writes us short and sweet
Gave us spice and praise

This email gets a googleplex out of 10!

bearsandmusic@gmail.com
your email might be featured next.

In the Aeroplane over the Sea

Seventh grade history class is a distinct memory in my mind. It was the year we learned about all sorts of things that happened all over the world. At this point in my life, I cannot recall all of our specific lessons, but I do however remember learning about the Holocaust. We had to read the Diary of Anne Frank by Anne Frank (no relation) and we spent the majority of the year discussing her and her pet bear that she kept in the bread box to keep her company. My teacher was a real cool guy. He was also a pedophile. I earned an A+ in that class though...

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel is basically the chapter in a textbook about the Holocaust set to music. With this you never have to study! Perfect for when you get caught in mass genocide or when your teacher touches on more points than the lesson plan calls for.

I give it a 1945/10!

Joe

A young boy. Age 5. Young, naive, innocent. Beautiful boy. Age 5. Dreams of being a chef. Cooking in his Easy Bake Oven constantly. For Christmas one year he opened a shiny gold box containing the newest Easy Bake Oven cake mix. It was the boy's second happiest day of his life. He ran to his small toy oven and mixed up the cake, putting it in the oven letting the lightbulb cook it. He sat directly in front of the oven staring straight into it because little did he know that years later this would be deemed as an act directly linked to cancer and radiation poisoning.

He knew that the cake was supposed to be small and plain like he had seen on the box, but this was no ordinary boy. This boy could dream. He stared at the cake in the tiny oven, but he did not see the cake, he saw a huge growing magnificent cake. Colorful frosting. Sprinkles. Candy flowers. Edible ribbon. Every decoration you can imagine. The cake kept growing and growing and growing. The boy was fascinated with his own imagination, but it wasn't his imagination. The cake had become real. It grew so large that the Easy Bake Oven exploded.

The boy was no longer in a happy day dream state. He was angry. He loved that easy bake oven and the cake destroyed it. He started kicking and grabbing at the cake in an act of revenge. It did not work. The cake kept growing and growing and growing. It swallowed up the boy. It swallowed up his neighborhood. It swallowed up the world. Then it spit the boy out. But the boy wasn't a boy. He was a dog...

"If I could be anyone I think I woudl want to be the mad hatter

or if I could have tea with anyone, it would be with him.

sometimes I think I am the mad hatter

then I realize I am a dog" - joe

Joe has one head and likes Chemistry. He hates instant mashed potatoes.
He is an up and coming figure in the music industry, with plans to write songs and sell them to people because he cannot sing. Well actually he can sing very well, but only people who can't sing do well in the music industry. Joe is too indie to be a good singer.

We have arranged an interview with this cool guy.

Are you ready for this interview?

"no but I have faith in you"

What is one memory you miss most in life?

"I miss my emo hair. it's short now."

What has influenced you to pursue a music career?

"I ran around naked."

How did this influence you?

"that was so fun and worth it"

What motivated you to run around naked?

"I am quite attractive. can we discuss that?"

No, we still have more questions to ask you. What-

"did you finish your review yett?"

No, we need this interview for the review.

"boo"

Joe, I told you so many times that this is part of the interview.

"no you didnt"

Yes I did

*takes off clothes*

This is a family blog.


Overall, Joe gets a 10/10 for his plants, mashed potatoes, emo hair, friend with a fear of bears, and his future music career.

Pearls in the Motel Pool

Close your eyes and let the vast region of your imagination take you to the back seat of your family's mini van. Driving driving driving up and down up and down road after road. Crammed in the back seat with your brother and coolers and fold up chairs and the most magical element of the trip, the tent. You're going camping. The last big adventure of summer. Your parents pretend their problems aren't there for the weekend and your brother replaces his gameboy with a fishing pole. You stare out the window at the passing trees and grass and leaves and hitchhikers when you feel something. You got it. For the first time. You just want to call all of your friends and talk about brands of, you know, so you don't feel left out anymore. You tell your Dad. He pulls over at the nearest rest stop and hands you a wad of paper towels. There is no way that you will settle for anything less than Tampax though. So you just leave it be.

You get to the campsite a little before dark. Your father lights dead sticks with a match. Now they dance and spark and blaze in the dying light. You roast marshmallows. You were innocent. You crawl into your sleeping bag. You lay there. Just lay. Thinking. There's something in your ovaries and it's beautiful. There's something going on. You're a woman now.

GRRRR GRRRRR GRRRR. GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE. ROAR. ROAR. ROOOOOARRRRR. You hear a noise. You're scared. You hear footsteps. Loud footsteps. Too loud to be your father's. You helplessly watch and a huge hairy monster rips open the tent with its massive claws. A bear. How could this be? You put all of the food in a bear resistant container and hung it in a tree. You went through all the bear safety precautions. ROAR. You forgot one thing. One beautiful deadly thing...

This is the experience you get when you listen to Pearls in the Motel Pool by Akryllic Love. You reach some sort of enlightenment. It changes your life. I think the best description of it is from Joe though,

"i was just listening to it

for the first time

it's good" - joe

http://www.sendspace.com/file/qm9tzn