A young boy. Age 5. Young, naive, innocent. Beautiful boy. Age 5. Dreams of being a chef. Cooking in his Easy Bake Oven constantly. For Christmas one year he opened a shiny gold box containing the newest Easy Bake Oven cake mix. It was the boy's second happiest day of his life. He ran to his small toy oven and mixed up the cake, putting it in the oven letting the lightbulb cook it. He sat directly in front of the oven staring straight into it because little did he know that years later this would be deemed as an act directly linked to cancer and radiation poisoning.
He knew that the cake was supposed to be small and plain like he had seen on the box, but this was no ordinary boy. This boy could dream. He stared at the cake in the tiny oven, but he did not see the cake, he saw a huge growing magnificent cake. Colorful frosting. Sprinkles. Candy flowers. Edible ribbon. Every decoration you can imagine. The cake kept growing and growing and growing. The boy was fascinated with his own imagination, but it wasn't his imagination. The cake had become real. It grew so large that the Easy Bake Oven exploded.
The boy was no longer in a happy day dream state. He was angry. He loved that easy bake oven and the cake destroyed it. He started kicking and grabbing at the cake in an act of revenge. It did not work. The cake kept growing and growing and growing. It swallowed up the boy. It swallowed up his neighborhood. It swallowed up the world. Then it spit the boy out. But the boy wasn't a boy. He was a dog...
"If I could be anyone I think I woudl want to be the mad hatter
or if I could have tea with anyone, it would be with him.
sometimes I think I am the mad hatter
then I realize I am a dog" - joe
Joe has one head and likes Chemistry. He hates instant mashed potatoes.
He is an up and coming figure in the music industry, with plans to write songs and sell them to people because he cannot sing. Well actually he can sing very well, but only people who can't sing do well in the music industry. Joe is too indie to be a good singer.
We have arranged an interview with this cool guy.
Are you ready for this interview?"no but I have faith in you"What is one memory you miss most in life?"I miss my emo hair. it's short now."What has influenced you to pursue a music career?"I ran around naked."How did this influence you?"that was so fun and worth it"What motivated you to run around naked?"I am quite attractive. can we discuss that?"No, we still have more questions to ask you. What-"did you finish your review yett?"No, we need this interview for the review."boo"Joe, I told you so many times that this is part of the interview."no you didnt"Yes I did*takes off clothes*This is a family blog.Overall, Joe gets a 10/10 for his plants, mashed potatoes, emo hair, friend with a fear of bears, and his future music career.
Lately Bears and Music has been getting a ridiculous amount of fan mail from practical people who do not want to get mauled by bears, music lovers, people fond of quality reviews, and elderly women. One email we received has stood out however. It went as followed:
